The Importance of Loving Yourself: Why Do I Feel Ugly?

Do you ever look in the mirror and frown at all the things you are unsatisfied with? You question, why don’t I look like her? Why do I look fat, too skinny, too small, too tall? That I’m not as attractive as those Instagram models? It’s okay to feel ugly; everyone gets insecure. 

Many of us are constantly scrolling through social media and we are influenced by the “perfect” looking influencers. The reality is, they don’t lead flawless lives either. We are all human. There is no shame in how we look, even if we appear a bit different from others. What’s important is for you to accept yourself and reject how other people dictate your looks. 

“Flaws are what make us unique.” That is what I tell myself. And like Chloe Adam’s lyrics “pretty’s on the inside.” 

You don’t have to criticize all those little flaws about yourself but rather accept who you are. You are beautiful no matter what, as long as you are true to yourself. Don’t let other people dictate your beauty. Be yourself and love yourself to the fullest.  

Growing up, I have always been insecure about my height. Ever since I was young, my lack of height was usually the center of discussion topics. “You’re too small,” my grandma would tell me. I began to feel insecure about my height. I wanted to be taller but had no control over my genetics. 

The height slander wasn’t enough and soon came other jabs at my appearance. “You’re so skinny.” “You should eat more.” Comments came from friends and family alike. I naturally had a fast metabolism and couldn’t control my body weight. 

For most of my life, I have been on the border of being underweight. I felt frustrated and hated my body. I couldn’t grow taller and it was hard for me to gain weight. I told myself to ignore minor remarks and tried to let them go. It’s hard not to think about these comments. It’s harder when they are brought up again and again.

For a while, I hated being tiny and thin. Through the years, I have learned to stop caring what others think. I have chosen to focus on loving myself in spite of my flaws. When I stopped thinking about society’s perception of myself, I felt proud. After many years of defeat, I had finally grown to love myself and it felt exceptional. 

I would be lying to write that I am fully confident in my own skin right now. During quarantine, I was able to gain some weight and it’s my first experience with belly rolls and a double chin. It’s been hard to stop my cravings for food when I’m at home all day, watching all the aesthetic food pictures on my social media feed. 

Even though I have not reached the goal of having my dream body, I love myself. The moments you are truest to yourself is when you transform into your best version. 

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