Relationships are a vital part of our lives and for most of us, it’s our drive to keep going. Not all relationships are good. Some can be toxic, forced, or even distant. Either way, it makes or breaks our day to day lives. Love is typically an ingrained part of relational behavior or a product of a relationship’s growth over time.

Out of all the different types of love (platonic, romantic, unconditional, self-love, etc.), I’d say I have fallen in love romantically. I don’t remember the moment or day I fell in love but I’m positive I did. Looking back at it now, sometimes, I’d realize I still do. This love was everything; it was intoxicating, romantic, platonic, and occasionally unconditional. It was insanity in the name of love.

I thought of writing this piece in the shower when I contemplated my experience with love and my story with it. Confronting myself in the shower is no news to me but it did give me a real piece of wisdom that I’d like to share.

If you’re like me, you may have given your all to someone who decided love is not enough for them anymore. You held on believing that things will return to what it was.

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Broken down in disbelief of what your love has come down to, you find yourself crying every two weeks on why he ignored your texts. Blew your nose into every tissue box you can find. And then cried some more in the shower, curled up, because you’re THAT dramatic.

If you still find yourself reminiscing, here is some truth. You have most likely fallen in love with a moment in time or a collection of moments but you no longer love them. Perhaps for a moment, you did, but that was a different version of you and a different version of them. If you do believe you still love them, that love probably evolved into something else. It does not mean you go back to them.

Above all the loves you will encounter in your life, self-love is probably the most overrated one. I don’t say it to bash on the process of loving yourself but saying that self-love is all you need is not realistic. That’s because self-love is derived from lessons learned and mistakes made in relational love. I’m happy to say that I’m in the process of loving myself. Each and every day, I think I fall deeper in love.

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