This article took me a while to write because I honestly still can’t find the words to express this kind of love – a love that feels right but can’t happen. This isn’t a sad nor emotional article but I realized that this story of mine is not unique. After googling how to get over someone you can’t be with (haha), I started to travel down this rabbit hole of people who got their hearts broken by this kind of love.
I enjoy writing about love because it’s a huge part of human life. It’s in what we read, what we listen to, and most importantly, it’s in our day to day actions. Love is always in the air, from self love to platonic love to romantic love. We may express and process it all differently but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s there.
Now, I’ve talked about relationships of mine before that has ended. I’ve talk about how to heal from it and learn from it. But this love that I’m talking about today is different from that love. This love is a love that has never started. It’s a love that was never and could never be reciprocated. It’s a love where you know when and where it’s going to end. It’s a brutal kind of love. It can get confusing, frustrating, and sometimes, even painful.
I won’t say that I’m an expert in giving advice on this since it’s still a fresh feeling for me, but I will say that you’re not alone. I feel you on it and I’m here for it so I’m going to list out how I was able to process everything and move forward.
Take it a step back and reevaluate your emotions and figure out whether or not they are misleading
Emotions and feelings are fickle but if you take the time to reflect, you may discover the truth behind them. You may find that you’re just lonely and you desire someone to be with. Or you may find that you simply just like the way that person makes you feel and nothing more. Or maybe you do realize how deep your feelings are for that person and you can’t see yourself without them. The reason why this step is important is because you never want to act purely on your emotions. You may lose a friend that way or better yet, lose yourself in the process.
Decide upon whether or not you want to confront the person and when you come to a conclusion, be mindful of the different scenarios that may happen
For this one, I don’t mean to tell you to go overthink your way out of it (lol). But be open minded to the possible outcomes of your decided action. When you confront, understand that the person may not reciprocate. If they do, it may not be realistic and you end up being close friends, if it’s possible. However, they may also reciprocate and you live happily ever after (lol). Those have to be kept in mind in order to manage your expectations without burdening the other person with it. If you decide to not confront, you would have to keep in mind that certain feelings can only be buried so deep. How long and how far are you able to go along with this?
Learn to love yourself and be self-aware
No matter the response and scenario you may encounter, it’s important to love yourself with and without that person. Loving yourself doesn’t mean pretend you’re not hurt when you get rejected. It’s about accepting that rejection and wishing them well while healing. It’s about setting boundaries or walking away from that person if your heart needs that to move on. This is no simple task but it’s a necessary step to find that peace within and outside of yourself. Can you be ok with and without this person? If not, a relationship with yourself must be reconsidered first.
I miss writing articles like this. It’s so raw and true, especially when I’ve personally felt it. I haven’t written an article like this in a while because I wanted to magnify other people’s voices, hence the “Meet (Name)” articles. I had so much fun writing about people and giving them a platform to tell their story. I was also busy with the podcast and hosting it, finding guests, etc. ANDWHY has seriously come a long way. It is expanding in ways I’ve imagined and I can only expect more from it here on out. I hope you enjoyed this article as much as I did. More to come, you guys. Thank you to the new and old readers 🙂